It's hard to imagine that I have only two months of the programme left. I can still remember the day I arrived, as though it were yesterday...
I arrived in Cape Town (for training) with nervous anticipation of the next nine months. It was like the first day at school: would I like South Africa? Will the people be accepting and accommodating? I remember some of the Capetonians congregated in the lounge, faces with pleasant smiles and silent speculation as Ruth and I struggled to carry our back-breaking bags up the stairs of the lodge. I remember fondly Bronwyn and Anna coming to our assistance - all memories of yesterday.
The last seven months have given me so much time to think. Perhaps too much! I feel that it has enriched me with an inner strength and a deeper understanding of my self. I shan't pretend that it has been easy, but if I am truly honest, I wouldn't have wanted it easy. I chose SPWSA for the "challenge," I can recall myself saying one December morning in Dean's Yard and the challenge is certainly what I got. I did not expect the absence of home comforts to be a problem, I was right about that, but what I did not foresee was the disillusionment I had felt at being an outsider. I thought through my dark-skin, I would be easily accepted into the Xhosa community, to the point where I expected my voice to be disregarded. Instead, like a two way mirror my eyes reflected to me and to those around me, my 'Englishness;' something that I - like most British born ethnic minorities- could never before conceive. I was thrown into the position where I felt I had to defend England: Not all of the English are racist capitalists hell-bent on 'raping' foreign lands. I don't believe that the England of today can be held totally responsible for the wrongs of the 'Empire' of yesterday.
Like most of the 'western' volunteers, the first two to three months I suffered a kind of culture shock that I could never have expected: I was lonely. Those early months, afforded me the opportunity to gain a truer understanding of the meaning of lonesomeness: to be surrounded by people who feel intimidated by foreignness. I felt at the time that everyone was content to find out from my partner Nomzamo the little details of my background, without wanting to approach me and find out the real me. I can recall from my university days discussing an artist who made himself both the subject and object of his paintings, by painting himself as the spectator. I was struck by the familiarity of my position. I was the outsider, the spectator, yet often the subject of many a conversation. My two weeks of Xhosa classes, allowed me to be proficient in greetings and discussing the weather, but all pretty useless when it came to partaking in a group joke. Translation is always a pain in the ass, especially when humour has had its moment and passed. I can remember being moved to the point of paranoia: What are they laughing at? I saw a glimpse in my direction, I heard a giggle behind my back, was it at my expense?
The change came when I accepted the unique position I was in as an outsider and Nomzamo and I moved beyond the barrier of language. It's not to say that our partnership suddenly became perfect. No our partnership was and still is fraught often with times with frustration; more that we came to a silent understanding. Just by having Nomzamo in my constant company, language became no longer the obstacle that it had been. I understand Nomzamo when she speaks Xhosa, even though I know I could not utter the same words without difficulty. There was an instance where I can recall feeling disappointed that Nomzamo preferred sleep over indulging in an evening 'girlie-chat.' I had thought that would be what the SPW partnership would be like. I came to question my need to fill the air with a constant flow of unnecessary chatter. Talk is cheap some say, and perhaps it is.
Most of the problems we have had in Mphekweni were due to the change in focus of SPWSA. When I arrived in South Africa, it was to find that the entire programme was community based and that our workshops should take place within the community and not the schools. This was despite the fact that one of our objectives set by SPWSA was to establish the school as being the "Centre of Community Life." To be blunt, Mphekweni, like most of the villages where volunteers were based, had not been prepared for a community emphasis. We had to begin from square one, firstly with the introduction of SPW and then to overcome the difficulties of housing community workshops without the necessary facilities and resources. There was no support structure within the community, and the SCC did not take up their role as mediators in the community until the last few months.
With the programme in Mphekweni, I cannot say otherwise than I believe that we have made a difference. Mphekweni is a very large village that takes just under an hour to walk its entire length. Certainly more deserving of volunteers, thus I am particularly proud when I reflect on our endeavous to promote an active awareness of the HIV/AIDS and contraception in the community. We have kept up a constant supply of condoms within all the shops and shebeens of Mphekweni and have now branched out to surrounding villages. We have had such a positive response in our awareness campaign that several members of the community have volunteered their time to do demonstrations. Recently we transformed the clinic that serves more than six communities to make it more youth-friendly. With have provided them with resource materials including information on HIV/AIDS, contraception, rape and domestic violence, as well as bringing a supply of the much asked for, but never before done, female condoms.
In terms of workshops, although we had to move our community based workshops to the schools to ensure a steady stream of attendance, we have had overall a positive response. Workshops at the high schools are -depending on which school- carried out on a Saturday or weekdays that begin a few moments before school ends. Students have taken a special interest in workshops on communication, career guidance, team leadership, English studies, HIV/AIDS and sexuality. We have been working in the primary schools of Mphekweni and students have shown much enthusiasm for all of our workshops including First Aid, story-telling, games and sport. I feel that working within the primary schools has been extremely important, especially in terms of condom awareness. To start promoting their usage should begin at an earlier, impressionable age.
Fundraising in Mphekweni has been a surprising success. In May we organized a Miss SPW 2001/Mr Personality and Junior pageant. We had an attendance of more than 150 people. We also assisted in the organisation of a careers day in the nearby town and organized an Arts Festival during August which celebrated the locals' skills and artistic talents, and promoted the empowerment of women as well as raise issues of HIV/AIDS and those of child abuse through various guest speakers.
My experience within Mphekweni has been like a rollercoaster: early disappointments and many recent successes. There is an innocence about Mphekweni that would it would do good to retain. Within Mphekweni, and throughout South Africa it leaves one with the impression that things are just beginning, as though the land has just woken up from a long dream. Mphekweni, like most of the villages here is struggling to find its place in a new world. People here are still suffering from the former appartied regime, most notably in their schools. Like a vicious circle, some students suffer from the effects of a poor education, thus low employment prospects and those who beat the odds and gain good grades, still fall prey to the lack of career guidance within school without any idea of what avenues are open to them. Unfortunately, Mphekweni like all the other villages here will only find its feet in their new world, with times economic reform.
